Some disappointing news this week:

Debbie, Veronica's babysitter, is moving to Arizona at the end of summer. Maybe sooner, if she sells her house quickly.

Now, of course this is a pain because we'll have to find new childcare arrangements for Veronica. As I still don't have a permanent position yet, it's even more difficult to know WHERE to place said childcare. But frankly, I'm disappointed because Debbie is so good to Veronica, and so fond of her. And Veronica just loves her too, and loves going to her house. Debbie has been a part of Veronica's routinue, almost every day, since she was only 10 weeks old. Debbie did everything she could to help her when she couldn't walk. She trimmed her nails, gave her the occasional bath, watched her overnight and would even get her dressed in the mornings if we dropped her off in her jammies. Debbie taught her songs and words and ASL. My child's manners, a large part of her vocabulary, the things she does for fun - a lot of these came from Debbie's house, not ours. And now Debbie's going to be gone.

Debbie says that I don't have a permanent job, Tucson is the place to be, why don't we just move out there too? I'd say she was kidding if she hadn't brought it up on more than one occasion. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't contemplate it, at least for a few minutes, although we're too damn broke right now to go ANYWHERE.

Whatever happens, though, Debbie is leaving in August, and a large part of Veronica's childhood thus far will be gone. One of the people who has cared for and loved my little girl better than anyone else, Veronica's "local grandma" as she once called herself, will be on the other side of the country. And we can't help but be sad about this development.

This is what happens when us mommies are NOT holding the kids. From left to right: Gunnar, Jack, Sajan, Melanie, Isabelle, and Veronica. Maia is crying in her mother's arms, not wanting her picture to be taken, and you can see Veronica's reaction to the entire scene. Too funny. :-)

Here is the photo that Catherine sent me. From left to right, mommies named, then babies: Dana and Maia, Ingrid and Gunnar, Catherine and Melanie, Lori and Jack, Erin and Isabelle, Gina and Sajan, me and Veronica. Trust me, this was the only way to get a photo of all of them together. :-)

Quick update:

Some good news, finally: I’ve been offered a temp position at Nationwide, starting next Tuesday. It’s not the one I was going for, but it pays what I made at Demers & Cohen before I got my raise, and I’m very excited about the position. Plus it’s to last indefinitely, so here’s hoping it might morph into something more once my temp stint is up.

I’m typing this from the reception desk at an accounting firm in downtown Columbus. I’m temping as of yesterday, ending tomorrow, and since my only job duties are to answer the phones and greet visitors, I’ve been allowed to play on the internet (provided, I’m sure, that I don’t visit any unseemly sites.) Everyone here has been very nice to me, and hopefully I’m doing a good job for them. I’m trying to stay busy by helping out other people, but as there’s not a lot I can do, here I am on the ‘net.

Sunday saw the two-year reunion of my Lamaze class. I'll soon be posting a photo of the event, courtesy of Catherine, mother of Melanie and now a baby named Jack. Three of the moms have already had another baby (now ranging in age from 2 to 4 months) and a fourth one is pregnant. A fifth one has separated from her child’s father. A lot to happen in two years.

Our children all seemed to have a good time, but once again, I had one of the oddballs. While most of the kids were sticking close to Mom and Dad, or having fun in an inflatable bouncing pit, Veronica wandered off to a swingset with a stuffed Big Bird and proceeded to carefully place him in the baby swing, push him, and say “wheee!” The other kids demolished their cupcakes while Veronica delicately stuck one finger into the icing then licking it off, then repeating over and over until the cupcake was bald and all the rest of the kids had moved on to other pursuits. And when we tried to get all the kids onto a sofa for a picture, a few cried, a few sat there looking a bit overwhelmed, a few played with toys, and my kid cowered in a corner with her fingers in her ears. (sigh) I’m not complaining – heck, I’m her mom, of course I think her quirks mean that she’s exceptionally bright – but it’s just funny, and at times a bit exasperating, when she’s just not joining in with the other kids.

Well, I should clarify: she doesn’t join in with other kids her age (her buddy Courtney at the babysitter’s being an exception.) While she couldn’t care less what the other Lamaze babies were doing, and doesn’t really interract with Zane too much when he’s around, she simply adores our next-door neighbor’s son Jeremy, who turns five this summer. She tries to copy everything he does. At Easter, she played tag with Derrick, Jason’s six-year-old cousin. And while I was using up a coupon and a gift card at Lane Bryant last night, Jason took her to the playland at the mall, where she emulated all the older kids there. She even ignores the babies at Debbie’s house most of the time, being more interested in the fact that baby Jack has a mommy than the fact that baby Jack himself exists. (And the new babies at the Lamaze reunion? I’m not sure she even saw them, and if she did, she certainly didn’t care – although I do believe she played with every toy car there.)

At least my grandmothers and my parents will get to see Veronica’s little quirks, as we are going to West Virginia this weekend, the trip which was delayed two weeks due to my illness and Dad working the postal service food drive last Saturday. We leave tomorrow evening and will have Jason’s friend Daniel check up on the cats. So I probably won’t post for a while, unless something new comes up.

And that’s the latest here, folks. Hope all is well with you too. :-)

Well last night was...interesting. I'd probably come up with a better adjective if I weren't so exhausted.

Yesterday evening went pretty well at first. I blew bubbles for Veronica outside, and we were joined by Jeremy, the four-year-old boy next door. I had just agreed to an interview on Tuesday morning. And then when Jason got home, he held Veronica's hand and let her run to the mailbox. She slipped and fell, and got a big scrape on her knee. It was unfortunate, but it happens.

That should've been the end of the story, except for some notes about Neosporin and Band-Aids. But Veronica was crying off and on all evening about her boo-boo. She wouldn't put weight on it. And even though we put her to bed at the normal time, she woke up screaming and crying an hour later over "my boo-boo!"

Jason and I then feared that maybe she had broken something. Jason said she was acting just like his little sister Lynn did at that age when she had a broken collarbone. I reminded him of the time I had a chipped bone in my left pinky finger just from catching a dodgeball the wrong way in fourth grade. Without further ado, we packed her up and took her to the Children's Hospital emergency room. We got there at 12:25 a.m.

We waited and waited; it was packed. Veronica fell asleep in our arms on two occasions. We had appalling service, in the fact that no one came to check on us, no one kept us updated, and I had to ask for a blanket for Veronica twice. It wouldn't be so bad if she didn't have problems falling asleep in a strange setting and situation, and if she weren't in discomfort. You overlook these things until it's your kid, and then you just become livid at the slightest inconvenience. I think, though, that our biggest irritation was that there were only two doctors on duty last night (a Friday night at a busy children's ER, and that bad stomach flu Veronica and I had last week is still making its rounds locally), and that the entire actual process to make sure Veronica had no breaks took about fifteen minutes or so. (X-rays, examinations from the doctor, etc.) Why is the last part irritating? I'll tell you why.

We left after 7 a.m.

While Veronica got little sleep, Jason and I got almost none. (All the coffee machines were down too at the hospital, grrrr....) I have no idea how he drove us home, stopping first for some fast food breakfast and some baby ibuprofen for Veronica per doctor's orders. (Yes, six and a half hours to get the diagnosis of over-the-counter Motrin. Grrrrr.....) Veronica still had some discomfort earlier today - I'm thinking she had a bad inside bruise or something, and the doctor even told us to take her to her pediatrician on Monday if she still isn't better, as there may be a hairline fracture there that can't be discerned from her X-rays. But now she's running around in circles and acting fine, only crying about "my boo-boo!" once.

I know it was worth it just to make sure Veronica was OK. But Jason pointed out on the way home that he'd been awake, more or less, for 24 hours. "Good thing college prepared us for at least one thing," I said. He answered with "yeah, who thought it would've been parenthood?"

So that was our odyssey last night. Hope it makes sense; even after two long naps today, I'm still not up to par.

So the job search continues. I had two interviews today and a phone questionnaire that may lead to another interview. Plus I have to call back a few places to follow up. I'm finding that I lack qualifications for some jobs, but have also found out that there's a possibility I'm being considered overqualified for others. And maybe I'm naive or missing something here, but if the jobs I'm supposedly overqualified for pay the same as what I need to get me and my family by, then bring 'em my way, I don't care.

It's so frustrating and I hate it. I can't wait to be hired again somewhere. Until then, I'll keep laundering my red blouse and black pin-striped skirt. I'll keep printing out my resume and wiping down my little briefcase. And I'll keep trolling the online job sites, hoping to find something soon.

To Anne, to Sharon, and for the first time, to Sara:

Happy Mother's Day!

(And for whomever I left out, because I forget things sometimes and kick myself in the ass later for it - I'm sorry, and Happy Mother's Day to you as well!)

My day went well, now that I'm feeling better. Jason did the dinner and a movie (T.G.I. Friday's - his pick, my appetite wasn't up to choosing, followed by my choice of movie, "The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy," which was beautiful, well cast, flowed well, and yet was completely lackluster.) We stopped by this store called What On Earth at Polaris and Jason got me a pair of earrings, gorgeous circles of Venetian glass. But the best surprise had to be what was waiting for me on the sofa when I woke up this morning:

A picture list from the Portrait Studio at Target. Jason took Veronica when I was sick on Friday and had portraits of him and her taken together. I loved it and started crying. There was my whole world in a photograph, of course I loved it. I can't wait to get them, we can pick them up on the 26th.

My mom had a wonderful day, as did Nanny and Grandma; I called them all. I'm hoping my sister Pam, should she read this, had a happy day too, as well as my niece Shara. And Debbie, a mother herself and almost a second mother to Veronica, had a good day too, watching and playing with her. Here's hoping whoever else is reading this, mother or not, had a wonderful day too. :-)

Whew, feeling much better. That PediaLyte stuff is something else. First off, it hydrates you just enough to no longer feel like you're dying. Secondly, if you add water or ice, it tastes very salty, very sweet, and very fruity - kind of like a watered-down margarita without the fun after-effects.

Jason's been a wonderful help to me feeling better. Poor guy. You want to know how bad it was? I felt like someone had decided to re-create my morning sickness, only by cramming three months' worth of experience into ONE NIGHT. ACK. While I obviously got the worse end of the deal here, Jason was up almost as much as me last night, getting me ice chips and such. He even made a special grocery run for me. Thanks, hon. :-)

I'm hoping this makes sense, but if it doesn't, please bear in mind that it's been written by a dehydrated woman on a few hours of sleep who's loopy on Motrin to get her fever down. And if that's not a good excuse, I don't know what is. :-P

Good news, bad news.

Good news: Veronica is feeling a lot better. I had an interview yesterday and one scheduled for Monday.

Bad news: I'm sick as a dog. I've been vomiting all night and have gotten only about an hour's worth of sleep. I've had to run willy-nilly to the bathroom for another reason too. (I don't need to get graphic, we're all adults here.) I haven't thrown up in three hours, so here's hoping I can get some rest. This also cancels out our trip to West Virginia this weekened, though - I sure as hell can't travel in this state - which is also bad news.

So that's the latest here.

And the hits just keep on comin'.

We awoke this morning to find poor Veronica, her bed, her teddy bear, and her blankets all covered in vomit. She has been sick all day. She seems to be able to keep liquids down but solids, not so much. She's eaten a little bit of banana and some toast, and most of it has stayed down. That being said, however, she doesn't have much of an appetite. At least she has a good several ounces of PediaLyte in her, thank god.

The good news in all this mess is that I have an interview tomorrow afternoon. Here's hoping Veronica is well enough to take to the babysitter's tomorrow, if only for the time it takes me to get ready and actually have the interview. Wish us all luck, we'll need it.

In the meantime, though, I hate seeing her like this. She's listless, she's cranky, she just wants to be held. And while I don't mind holding her, I just wish she felt better. It's awful to see your kid sick and not be able to do anything about it but wait it out. She's still in the middle of a long nap right now, so here's hoping she wakes up feeling much better.

Jason wanted me to mention something he discovered about our notoriously picky eater, Veronica: Add some salt to some green beans, and she's all over them. I know it's not very healthy, but dammit, at least she's eating something! Works for me, I say, as she's practically begging Jason for another bite of her newly seasoned veggies.

Well, here it is, the wee hours of the morning of May 2. Distant enough from Veronica's birthday glee that I feel comfortable to post. Jason is up, scraping the ugly border off the wall in our kitchen; whatever made him discover that a Brillo sponge would work for such a task, I don't know. I'm obviously awake too, as are the two cats. I think Veronica is the only one of us asleep; at least, I hope so.

What I need to say is, as of last Tuesday, I'm out of a job again. Amy the family law attorney fired me, for reasons that are too silly to even mention. The main one concerns a file in a large plastic binder, that she took out-of-state with her and now cannot locate. This is somehow my fault and I don't know how, as we moved offices (starting with one that was only 400 square feet, reception area and all!) and it wasn't located then. I don't even recall having seen it before, as the client's last name was one that would've elicited a Beavis-and-Butthead-style giggle from me when I first read it. What could I have possibly done with it? The consensus among my family and friends is that she just couldn't afford to pay me, and I think her assistant wasn't exactly trustworthy either. It was an adventure, to say the least, as I never even got a desk or to do much in the way of paralegal work while I was there. At least my walks to and from the parking lot three blocks away, as well as my treks up and down the ten-story building from time to time, have really gotten me into decent shape in a short period of time.

Jason and my parents are all happy to see me out of this place, making me believe that it wasn't the best place for me to be anyway, but the fact remains that this puts us in a bit of a financial crunch for the time being. Of course, we were in a financial crunch before all this happened, so it's really just bad timing and poor luck for us since around December or so. Like I'm supposed to know my firm's going out of business and my next job is going to can me in two weeks before I can even do anything to be evaluated on!

I can't say it's not stressful. At least Amy paid me 'til the end of the week, and was kind enough to send out the check on Wednesday, ensuring I'd get it by Thursday and could deposit in on Friday as I would have, anyway. But now Veronica and I are uninsured. I have prescriptions due for refill. I have to start the job search all over again. And I can't say I'm happy about the way things are going right now. So to my readers, who I know are few and far between but whom I all appreciate anyway, I wanted to warn you that my posts will probably be infrequent. They may even be quite dour and not chock-full of cheery goodness, cutesy things my child has done. They'll be more about keeping a roof over said child's head and food in her belly. And how I hate that it's come to this.