Just a quick note: We've decided against the radiation treatments for Pita, given her age, her condition, and financial reasons. Plus we decided that putting her through all that would be cruel.

So today she started on some medication to keep her comfortable. She has about two months left, tops. We'll probably have to have her euthanized before that, as she won't be able to breathe well or possibly eat.

I called a local funeral home that does pet cremations. They have good rates and a package just for pets that includes a personalized urn, an imprint of one of her paws, and a fur clipping. For a little extra, they'll transport her straight from our home or the vet's office to the crematory. The amount for all this is less than $100.00, and I'm grateful that such services exist here. I'm just devestated that I have to be doing this at all right now, though.

My friends have sent some wonderful e-mails in support, as well as the comments left here by my readers. Thank you all. My mom sent us a package with some of Pita's favorite toys; she half-heartedly played with them today, but I was surprised she batted at them at all. And our friend Marty from California - some of you know who he is - sent a card directly to Pita, with words of comfort and a check to help with the costs of her care (made out to Pita's "mom" because, being a cat, she doesn't have a bank account; if you know Marty, you'll know he actually wrote that in the card.) So thank you to everyone for your support.

Veronica's fine, Jason's got a cold, and Debbie's back in town briefly so hopefully we can get together before she leaves again for Tucson. That's it for now. Don't really have anything else to say at the moment.

A break in the worrisome news about Pita for some artwork: Veronica's first representative drawings. Jason and I thought they were flowers at first, but Veronica told us that these are balloons. Hey, I can see that. If you look closely, you can see the balloons on the other side of the paper as well. She drew several of these today, each a little better than the previous one, and this was the last one and the one I consider to be the best. I'm so proud of her!

Maybe more later. :-)

I'm home sick today. The fatigue has conquered me once more and I slept until I got a phone call around 1 p.m. Thank god I have a doctor's appointment with a sleep specialist on September 9.

But the phone call was from Pita's vet, with the results of her biopsy. It wasn't the vet's assistant. It wasn't the receptionist. It was the doctor herself, and you know that cannot be good.

Pita has a malignant carcinoma, which is frankly what they expected from her procedure last week. It is causing her much trouble breathing, as it at least affects her nasal passages and her mouth (which we can tell just from observing her here at home). We have two options: One is to take her to an oncologist, who will get a catscan to see how invasive the tumor is. Radiation treatments might be a possibility at this point, although not at the vet's office but more likely at OSU. However, this would depend on how invasive the tumor is.

The other option would be a non-inflammatory - a steriod, I think, but I won't claim to know much about medicine to say - that would make Pita more comfortable and possibly shrink the tumor somewhat. Her vet says, however, that this would not buy her much time. Bear in mind that she's already 11 years old, which isn't ancient for a cat but by far is no longer young.

The vet is getting some more information from the oncologist, regarding costs and procedures. Jason and I will discuss it once he gets home from work. And no matter what, it looks like Veronica's life will be in further turmoil, as she's still not quite used to the daycare, preferring to do her own thing rather than join in with circle time or whatever. She's just now stopped asking for Debbie (although this does not mean Debbie has been forgotten), and how I'll ever explain what's happened to Pita to her, I don't know.

Thank you all for your support and advice. I had no clue that some of you read this site, from as far away as Germany - thank you so much! It means so much to me, and as it looks like our worst fears have been confirmed, I'm even more appreciative. Much love to all of you out there, to my friends and family, in being there during this time.

A lot to update in just a few days.

Veronica's first two days of daycare were a little rough. Even today, we got to leave her there crying, which totally breaks our hearts. This is to be expected, as are difficulties with her getting used to the routine at the center. We did have some notes on her daily reports about throwing food and dumping out a cereal bowl, but today it was reported that she ate well and participated a lot. Overall, she seems to be doing really well, all things considered. She's even filthy in the evenings from vigorous playground play, which actually makes us quite happy.

The thing we didn't expect, which still breaks our hearts : She asks, "Want see Debbie? See Debbie!" So far she asked morning and evening on Monday and Tuesday, only once on Wednesday morning, and not at all today to my knowledge (though Jason may come home later and correct me on that one). We've tried explaining, but all she knows is that her beloved Debbie isn't here anymore. "She moved to Tucson," Jason explained one morning, to which Veronica replied "No! No Tucson!" It would be cute if it weren't so sad.

The other news, however, could result in someone else leaving her life soon. Pita has been in poor health now for a month or so; she wheezes, doesn't eat as much, and has a watery eye. Yesterday the vet found a tumor of some sort and removed a bit to be biopsied. We won't have the results for a few more days, probably sometime early next week. It could be nothing. It could be benign. But it could be cancer, a malignant cancer, meaning my little baby kitty is now living on borrowed time. And it's breaking my heart. I know, some people would say "She's just a cat" but to me she isn't. I brought her home to my then-boyfriend Jay's rented trailer in October of 1994, almost 11 years ago. She was 6 weeks old. I was a few weeks shy of my 19th birthday. And for the most part, save a couple months toward the end of my college education, she's been with me ever since. She's been my companion and my confidante when so many people failed me, or I, instead, failed them and regretted it. She grew older but I grew up. Boyfriends, friends, moves, careers - they've all changed under her watch, and she's been there with me through them all. Even Veronica's first word was "kitty," and it stood for everything that made her happy. I think Veronica had it right. And even though I know Pita is old, that it will have to happen someday, I'm not ready for it to happen so soon. Everyone reading this, please keep a good thought in your head for Pita, or say a little prayer for her, whatever you believe in doing for these situations. Some of my friends and family have already gotten word of this, and to them, I thank you so much for your words of comfort and support. And to the rest of you, thank you for reading this little blog. Thank you for following our lives. And thank you for being there, some of you possibly silent and secretly, with us each step of the way.

We just got home from a little good-bye get-together at Dave & Buster's for Debbie. A nice amount of people showed up at different times. We got there around 3.

All I can say, though, is that Veronica was very fond of Debbie holding her, and when we said our goodbyes in the parking lot, she started to cry. "No, no! Debbie!" she kept saying, watching in the direction Debbie had left to go to her car with tears in her eyes and a pout on her face. She was sobbing until we got to the car and found something to distract her. I've already told Veronica what's going on, that she starts preschool tomorrow and that Debbie is moving to "Far, Far Away" (if you've seen Shrek 2, you'll know why I used that term for a reference), and we firmly believe that poor Veronica understood every word of it. She knew what was up, and I just feel awful for her.

More, cheerier news later, and if I don't write until tomorrow, then an update on her first day at daycare as well.