Everything I've ever read or heard about labor and delivery states the same thing: Leave your dignity at the door. That originally sounded scary to me. Now, I am convinced that the nine months prior to this date is just so that you slowly lose that dignity before you ever get there.

I could go into details, but they would be a tad bit too personal. Let's just say that OB/GYN appointments can be invasive, that phone calls to them are ones that you wouldn't want your co-workers to hear, and we'll leave it at that.

Part of it is the increasing difficulty I have in sitting up after lying down. Even though I can prop myself up on my arms, it still requires a bit of flailing, much like that of a turtle turned upside-down on his shell. This cracks Jason up to no end; he says it's "adorable" but I know damn well he means "ridiculous." Adding to this is the subsequent hand I place on my back, which aches if I recline for more than a minute. And I'm already beginning to find that shifting your weight back n' forth, from foot to foot when I'm walking, is far more comfortable; I should be in full-waddle mode within a month.

And I know I look pregnant, but dear lord, can't people say anything other than "You're getting big!"? Michelle at work put it best when she said I'd "blossomed" over the past week, but c'mon, the woman's a lawyer. She's used to manipulating language to her advantage. :-) Even a couple members of Jason's family are quick to point out how much larger I am than Anne, his mom going so far as to suggest that my due date must be way off. Nothing makes a woman happier to know that, if someone attached strings to her hands and feet, she'd be leading the Macy's parade. Thanks, folks. :-P

Even the guesses as to what the baby's sex is can be insulting, my personal favorite thus far being my mom telling me it's a boy because my ass has gotten wider. Followed closely behind are a couple of my co-workers arguing with me that it's a girl because the heartbeat was 159 and everyone who's actually given birth knows that girls have higher heartbeats. ("It could be a girl," I had answered diplomatically. "No, it IS a girl. You'd better get used to it," I was told in a voice reserved for petulant children and idiots. Of course, my mom pointed out that both my nephew and great-nephew had higher fetal heartbeats than my niece and great-niece; then again, she could just be justifying why my ass has apparently gotten wider, which I'm really not seeing.)

The only good thing I can think of lately is the three people who've referred to me as "mama" in casual conversation: My Grandma and Grandpa Alonso, and Donna at work. I know, it sounds silly. But I can't help it, I grin and get happy as soon as I hear it. Maybe it's because that drives home what all the rest of this is really for. :-)

Oh, I could go over all the presents I got today. I could talk about phone calls with family, or the Christmas dinner we had with a friend this afternoon. But it all pales to what happened this morning, when Jason put his hand on my belly and felt the baby move for the first time. I believe that was really Christmas for both of us. :-)

Dammit! There's a Farscape marathon on Sci-Fi. How the frell am I supposed to get anything done today? :-)

Not like I'm going to be wandering out much, anyway. Not only was I in a wreck last month, but Jason and I have almost been hit about a dozen times since, either head-on or at full speed by people running red lights and stop signs or overall cutting us off. It's ridiculous, and I know that there will be many more idiots on the road today, with their heads completely up their asses as they try to get that ONE LAST GIFT for under the tree.

Frankly, Jason and I aren't sure if there have been that many more near-misses, or that we've noticed them more since we have so much more to lose now. I mean, Jason and I can survive a lot from a wreck, but the little one pound person inside me right now is far, far more delicate. (Even though he's kicking like a little karate master!)

So far, so good with the holidays. We did gift exchanges and present deliveries to Jason's family in Marietta on Saturday, and we had a wonderful time. Jason was thrilled when he received a 100 million-year old fossil of a mantis shrimp from his Aunt Emily - it was at one of those fossil/geode stores at a mall here, and the only one we'd ever seen, as mantis shrimp tend to break apart quite easily after death. (We know, we've had a couple in his aquariums.) I wanted to buy it for him, but the price tag was too high for me; fortunately, it was not for Aunt Emily. She also got us other presents, my favorite being a Diaper Genie and all sorts of little baby necessities - sleepers, diapers, wipes, lotions, baby powder, and an ear thermometer. All in all, though, it was just very nice to visit with Jason's family - and the fact that they all liked the Christmas gifts we got them didn't hurt, either.

We've received nice Christmas bonuses from both of our jobs. We have yummy Christmas treats, either bought or baked by others. We have a decent little stack of packages under the tree, nice considering how much we've cut back this year. And yesterday we received the final payment for my totalled car - a check for a grand. Merry Christmas to us!

Which leads me back to having to get out of the house - I need to go deposit that check before the bank closes at 2 p.m. But I haven't even showered yet (yay sleeping in!), and I'm really digging this episode of Farscape (even though I've seen it before), which makes my motivation levels really low. Maybe after a brownie and a glass of milk.....

To anyone who might be reading this: Merry Christmas! From Maranie, Jason, and Kiddo. :-)

BAH.

Our web browser refuses to let us see graphics. It's not a glitch in Earthlink, it's a Windows update glitch. Jason has been trying like mad to fix it; only problem is, to get to the part of the Microsoft website where you can gripe about this sort of thing, you need to click on - you guessed it - a graphic. So if you can't see it, you can't click on it. Simple as that.

It's really frustrating, though, as I keep track of my favorite comics online and now can't even see the damn things. Plus it makes a whole bunch of other sites pretty worthless as well. I'm shocked I can even get here to update this thing.

Moving on.....

Had my latest prenatal appointment yesterday. Everything is cool, and I've only put on five pounds in the past month - astounding, really, considering all the Christmas goodies in the office and the fact that I've officially outgrown all non-maternity clothing items in my closet, shoes included. (Oh, there's a couple shirts and pants I can still squeeze into, but they're far from flattering, lemme tell ya.) The baby has a good strong heartbeat. Plus, we're going to have a gender scan next month - basically, an ultrasound to see if it's a boy or a girl, provided the kid doesn't get hit with a bout of modesty and have his or her lil' legs crossed when I go in. I doubt this, though, because Kiddo is flipping around like a gymnast in there, especially after being prodded with items such as the doctor's fetal stethescope.

I wore my "holiday dress" to yesterday's Christmas party and Secret Santa unveiling. It's the first piece of maternity clothing I'd ever purchased, a black velvet dress, and I received lots of compliments on how nice I looked. This made me very happy. :-) Secret Santa turned out well, especially since my friend Beth had been my Secret Santa - she got me a memory box for the baby's items (first shoe, baby book, etc.), plus a pacifier holder and two pacifiers. All were in the Winnie the Pooh theme, which people point out is so overdone but hey, when you've got people in central Ohio, rural Ohio, and West Virginia all buying stuff for you, it only makes sense to use things that anyone could find. Plus, let's face it, it's classic and it's cute and it'll fit with a baby boy or girl.

The holiday party was a grand opportunity for most of my co-workers to get three sheets ahead of the wind and bitch about where they work. *sigh* Which was really too bad, given the office party - it was quite the spread, even with me being unable to eat half the food there. (Shrimp and crab cakes - allergic. Brie - slightly allergic, plus pregnant women are supposed to stay away from soft cheeses. Rarebit sandwiches - pregnant women aren't exactly encouraged to eat undercooked meat either, which is a shame because they looked really damn tasty.) The best had to be when some of the Vaudvillities performers sang Christmas carols in our lobby (Gayna, our receptionist, is part of the group.) They started with a holiday medley, and I wish I could remember the songs, because the baby just went crazy over it. I felt all sorts of movement; Kiddo was loving it. I couldn't stop from smiling.

That's all the news, as I need to go get ready for a day trip to Marietta to see Jason's family for the holidays. We might stop in to see my folks next weekend, after Christmas, but Christmas Eve and Christmas Day will be here at home, alone for the last time. :-)

More baby news:

I don't know if it's a boy. I don't know if it's a girl. But I know one thing for sure: It's a geek.

Yesterday Jason and I went to see "Star Trek: Nemesis," during the course of which the "Star Trek: TNG" theme is played twice distinctly. Both times, the baby just went nuts. All sorts of little movements and twitches. I couldn't help but laugh.

In other news....

I hate my office right now, as candies and Christmas goodies abound. My next prenatal appointment is on Friday, and I know my doctor is going to give me royal shit for putting on so much weight. I don't really think so much of it is from the junk food, though. I'd like to point out that I'm now at my pre-Weight Watchers weight. It took me four months to lose it, now I've gained it all back in four months, but the switch is that now, I'm pregnant. So I still think I'm doing pretty well.

I'm more bummed out that I tried to put on a pair of grey knit pants today, and they didn't fit. Even worse, I just wore them last week, and although they were mildly snug then, they weren't cutting off abdominal circulation. BAH. If they don't fit now, this means that most of my other pants are now useless for several months. Today is my first day of wearing honest-to-God maternity pants, and I hate them. Oh, they're comfortable, and they fit, but the waistline goes up to just inches below my boobs and that's annoying as hell. :-P

We are now planning a little party for New Year's Eve. It should be OK, but a twelve of Corona has already been purchased, and someone's already mentioned a drinking game. Not like I can't live without alcohol, but to know I'm going to be toasting in 2003 with apple juice (blech!) just kinda sucks.

That's all my updates for now, as I hit 20 weeks as of tomorrow - this will be the halfway point of my pregnancy. I'm wishing the baby's movements were a little more distinct, or regular, or could be felt by placing a hand on top my abdomen (so Jason could feel it, too). I'm hoping all is well. And I'm hoping for a safe, happy holiday season with a baby on board. :)

Oh, did I have a post for this week. Several, as a matter of fact. All of them starting out with all the fun Jason and I had at Mid-Ohio Con, meeting Ted Raimi (c'mon, everybody! "Joxer the Mighty, roams through the countryside, he never needs a place to hide...."), buying up all sorts of stuff for our kitchen decor and for Christmas presents, etc. It could've been a page-long post about Ted Raimi alone, although I can just show you that bit if I ever have a moment of time to figure out how to work our new scanner.

But other things have happened too. Like the new car - my mom and dad sprung for it, only asking for some of the money I got from the other guy's insurance company for my old car. What Maranie is driving now is a white 2002 Buick Sentry that has power everything and only 23k miles. It even has hooks in the backseat for a baby's carseat. Maranie is quite happy over this development. :-) I'm also pleased that my parents are psyched about the grandbaby on the way, as my mother has lamented over motherhood my entire life. (She'll bring up some family member's name and whisper, "She's pregnant" in a poor-thing-she's-done-for tone, much like the voice my grandmother uses when saying someone has cancer. Then my mom will go on to say whoever the poor wench is, that she's ruined her life. Gee, thanks, Mom.) They are really happy about this, my mom spending a small fortune on maternity clothes and my dad oooo-ing over my ultrasound pictures. Their enthusiasm is a nice side effect of my pregnancy that I really didn't expect.

This week at work was, well, another week at work. My mood swings are pretty damn bad as of late. Our Secret Santa program has started too - the support staff is all sneaking around and leaving each other little gifts, from now 'til our office party on Dec. 20. My Secret Santa has already left me a little trinket box, a holiday candy dish with candies, and Andes Thin Mints. It's pretty nice.

Part of my big news this week is that I'm, well, big. I just blew up over the Thanksgiving weekend. It's absurd. I've gone from just pudgy to my-god-that-woman's-pregnant. More maternity clothes are being worn, less of my old items. My feet are swelling in my shoes. If anyone is at all familiar with my anatomy, they'll know I have this natural waistline that has always prevented me from seeing my own belly-button, no matter how thin I was. Well, that waistline is slowly disappearing, and hello navel! (Although I'm seeing why it's been hidden all these years - damn, my belly-button is HUGE!) My abdomen is getting itchy from the stretching, and Jason rubs lotion on it almost every morning (really good stuff we got from Motherhood Maternity - he uses the cream on his hands. It is the best stuff, seriously, I'm recommending it to everyone I know.) Now everyone is touching my belly.

I'm getting guesses already too on what the sex of the child will be. First thing my mom does, after not seeing me for a few months, was pulling me aside when we were unpacking to take a look at my butt - if it spreads out, she says, I'm having a boy. She couldn't tell at that moment, and lemme tell ya, it's a little disconcerting having your mother checking out your ass for an entire weekend. My grandmother thinks it's a boy. A woman named Cindy at work is waffling, saying it looks like I'm carrying a girl but I'm craving junk food, which indicates a boy. All of this is ridiculous nonsense but it makes me laugh. Our big obstacles this weekend are to:

1. Get the new car titled over to us;
2. Move stuff out of the spare room to set up the nursery;
3. Unpack more stuff, or at least find a decent place to store it; and
4. Put up our Christmas tree.

All I want to do is sleep. And figure out that scanner. And get that damn "Ketchup Song" out of my head, where it's been for several days now. I think I'll work on the sleeping part first. :-)