*sigh*

I've been through the joy now of shopping for maternity underwear. Of finding out there are to be no more ultrasounds for me, even though the 20-week one is standard (my doctor said it won't be necessary), so we won't be able to even have a chance to find out the baby's sex until he or she is born. Jason's Aunt Emily visited this weekend and was quite generous; we now own a new stroller, high chair, bouncy chair, five receiving blankets, a crib blanket, and some more maternity blouses.

My work load is not slowing down; I am now so far behind that I could work full days 7 days a week and still not be caught up. We have to drive to WV this week for Thanksgiving and to pick up our new car; this means a 5 hour drive back, alone, as Jason will drive the car we're taking down and I'll be driving the new one. We have gotten no Christmas shopping done, save a small gift for Jason's dad.

I am exhausted beyond all belief, saddened by the fact I will not be able to find out if our baby is a boy or a girl, worried that if something's wrong between now and then that we will not know because we cannot SEE the baby until May. I am tired. My clothes no longer fit properly; even my shoes are getting too small. And I fear that any dreams I have of someday being a published writer (a long shot, I am aware, and a dream I share with every frickin' person I know, but still a dream I have) will be snuffed out by the inability to write or think of anything but motherhood, paralegal work, checklists of errands and possible cures for sheer exhaustion.