I've been in a weird mood today (blame the hormones) so I just had to use this opportunity to say something:

God, I hate my name.

And if one more person asks me, "Why don't you just change it?", then I'll scream.

See, it's not that simple. First off, to get it legally changed to "Marnie", which the way everyone pronounces it (even my mother, who cursed me with this moniker) would be a huge hassle. So to just go by "Marnie" would be confusing as hell, because all legal documentation would have the correct spelling, and I wouldn't be able to keep track of which name I was under for which situation. Plus, people will STILL misspell and mispronounce it, because trust me, I've tried this route already.

My middle name is currently my maiden name, so I couldn't go by that. My original middle name, though, was even worse: Juliene. Pronounced "joo-LEEN". NOT "joe-LEEN." Even my mom (who, once again, is the one to blame for this) forgot if it had one "n" or two when I was about 10 years old. So going by my middle name was never an option. (Why the HELL my folks couldn't have blessed me with ONE SIMPLE NAME is beyond me, although Jason has pointed out that it honed in my spelling skills at quite the early age.)

My mom has suggested over the years that my name is perfect because it could be broken up into two nicknames: "Mara" or "Anie". Well first off, I'm sure as hell no Annie. :-P Secondly, I TRIED to be called "Mara" back in high school. I really did. But when your friends are used to calling you one thing, they will never fully call you by something else, especially if it's not your real name. (I knew a guy from college who successfully got people to switch from one NICKNAME to another, but last I heard, everyone still defaults back to his given name of Matt.)

And this all leads to "why don't you just change it to Karen or Jennifer or something?" Let's throw out that whole "legal hassle" thing, and the fact that while your friends may get used to the new name, your grandma never will. (Hell, family rumor states it took my grandma a full year to get "Maranie" down, lord forbid I mess her up now!) Truth of the matter is, as I learned from my "Mara" days (or a similar time when my closest friends called me "Cat"), you will ALWAYS have a problem in answering to a new name. My buds would holler "MARA!" 'til they were blue in the face and I still would not hear them or pay a lick of attention until one of them gave up and yelled "Maranie!"

I've never had a good nickname stick with me, either. "Cat" was one of the best, but only a handful of people called me that, and I don't know a one of them anymore. "Squirrel" (or the full title "Squirrel Girl"), was my nickname my freshman year of college, but it died out after that (once again, only certain people calling me that) and besides, who wants to be called "Squirrel" her whole life?! Other stupid ones never made it past high school, where EVERYONE had an identity crisis as part of the whole kit n' kaboodle of being a teenager. And the cute names Jason calls me are not only sentimental, so that I only want him to call me that, but also kind of nauseating to anyone else. ;-)

This really doesn't have too much to do with babies, except as a possible warning to all other parents to think long and hard before naming their kid some crazy shit like "Maranie Juliene." I'm stuck with it, but no one from hereon has to be, dammit. Or any other name like it. My sister is Pamela Kay and I've envied her that for years. If you're looking for a name, look to her and keep on walking by me, I'm not giving it out. :-P