I hate this moodiness.

Anyone who knows me already knows I'm a naturally moody person. But trust me, folks. This is worse.

I'm flying off the handle or bursting into tears with only the slightest provocation. One minute I'm laughing like I'll never stop, the next I feel like I'm going to weep for the next six hours. You probably think I'm exaggerating, that I'm prone to hyperbole and it can't be that bad. Please keep in mind, though, that my embellishments are at a minimum, and that if I DO seem to make a big deal of it, it's only because it FEELS that bad.

See, the problem is that this is NOT going to get better. People keep telling me my morning sickness will only last a few more weeks, as well as the crippling fatigue. And let's face it, the lugging around of the pregnant belly, backpains, and even labor that all come later, all have a stop date. This doesn't. Nope, long after my body has healed from the effects of baby, the emotions will still take their toll. It's called postpartum depression, folks, and given my current state during pregnancy, I really don't see how I can avoid it. (Although perhaps breastmilk laced with mommy's Prozac will nip any colic the kid might have in the bud, he he he....)

The part that's driving my poor Jason nuts is the ever-constant worrying. Let's take last night. It was our third wedding anniversary, so we celebrated by going out to the town's best seafood place. I ordered ginger decaf tea and the mahi mahi, and split a vanilla creme brulee with fruit with Jason. Everything was delicious. But after the meal, I sat there and stressed about what I'd just consumed: The tea had green tea in it, so was it dangerous to drink? I can't eat swordfish, tilefish, mackeral, or shark because of the high mercury content; is mahi-mahi a form of one of those, is the name Hawaiian for "mercury swordfish" or something? The creme brulee tastes mildly like custard, so if it is a custard, does it have undercooked egg in it? Do I now have a herbally poisoned idiot baby with salmonella?!?!

Now, if I do this over dinner with my husband, you can imagine what I'm like at any other time.

So after my ever-dwindling lunch break, off I go back to work and try not to take someone's head off. Or try even harder not to start bawling right here at my desk. Especially if I start to look up mahi mahi on some baby website or another. :-P