Time to clear a few things up here:
To answer the ever-popular question: NO. I am NOT OK. I am so far from OK that I don't even know what it looks like anymore.
The next question: YES, I am going to be sick again. Thank you so much for asking as you see me on my way to the restroom. Did you want to follow me in and see the results?
To the women at my office who haven't been pregnant yet: You can stop giving me that look now. NO, it's not contagious and YES, this is what you're in for someday. At least you'll know ahead of time, unlike me.
To the women, both in and out of the office, who have had children: I know morning sickness is a common ailment. Therefore, do NOT give me that look of pity, mild disdain and just a hint of smugness, then say "I don't know what you're going through, I never had morning sickness." (This goes for you too, Mom.) If everyone who said that is telling the truth, then about 90% of all expectant mothers never get nauseous nor vomit without having the flu. I don't think so. (I'm also getting the same response over commenting on constipation. I was going to say that these denials are also a load of crap but then decided that really wasn't the term I wanted to use for such a comment.) ;-)
Things you CAN do:
Hold the doors open for me, guys. I've noticed. Thank you.
Mothers, whether or not you had morning sickness: Keep doling out the advice. I've never even changed a diaper. Jason and I went to Babies R Us last night and just kinda went "duh..." over all the stuff there. We have no clue what the hell we're doing, so lay it on us. We might follow it, we might not, but we'll take any tidbit we can right now. :-)
Don't make a big deal over the retching in the restroom. I'm embarrassed enough as it is.
Ask me questions. I am thrilled to talk about everything from the first piece of maternity wear I've ever purchased (last night, black velvet dress for Christmas, on sale for $25!) to my poor sleeping habits of late to the breathtaking sight of my baby's heart beating on the ultrasound monitor.
Things I will do:
Keep my mouth shut about how often I've vomited in the past couple days.
Not bore you too much with all the facts I find fascinating, especially if you're male and not my husband.
Not spill out the plethora of things I'm stressing about at any given moment.
Not show you the ultrasound photos more than once, and then for a few seconds, because I know you don't know what the hell you're looking at. (And to some extent, neither do I.)
I think we're done with my bitchy little etiquette lesson today. At least, until I start showing and therefore send off warnings that if you touch my belly without an invitation to do so, expect to lose that hand. I don't run around poking you in the abdomen, do I? (Of course, I'll also have to post the name of the first person to commit this offense. I'm getting thicker around the midsection every day, folks, it's only a matter of time....)
To answer the ever-popular question: NO. I am NOT OK. I am so far from OK that I don't even know what it looks like anymore.
The next question: YES, I am going to be sick again. Thank you so much for asking as you see me on my way to the restroom. Did you want to follow me in and see the results?
To the women at my office who haven't been pregnant yet: You can stop giving me that look now. NO, it's not contagious and YES, this is what you're in for someday. At least you'll know ahead of time, unlike me.
To the women, both in and out of the office, who have had children: I know morning sickness is a common ailment. Therefore, do NOT give me that look of pity, mild disdain and just a hint of smugness, then say "I don't know what you're going through, I never had morning sickness." (This goes for you too, Mom.) If everyone who said that is telling the truth, then about 90% of all expectant mothers never get nauseous nor vomit without having the flu. I don't think so. (I'm also getting the same response over commenting on constipation. I was going to say that these denials are also a load of crap but then decided that really wasn't the term I wanted to use for such a comment.) ;-)
Things you CAN do:
Hold the doors open for me, guys. I've noticed. Thank you.
Mothers, whether or not you had morning sickness: Keep doling out the advice. I've never even changed a diaper. Jason and I went to Babies R Us last night and just kinda went "duh..." over all the stuff there. We have no clue what the hell we're doing, so lay it on us. We might follow it, we might not, but we'll take any tidbit we can right now. :-)
Don't make a big deal over the retching in the restroom. I'm embarrassed enough as it is.
Ask me questions. I am thrilled to talk about everything from the first piece of maternity wear I've ever purchased (last night, black velvet dress for Christmas, on sale for $25!) to my poor sleeping habits of late to the breathtaking sight of my baby's heart beating on the ultrasound monitor.
Things I will do:
Keep my mouth shut about how often I've vomited in the past couple days.
Not bore you too much with all the facts I find fascinating, especially if you're male and not my husband.
Not spill out the plethora of things I'm stressing about at any given moment.
Not show you the ultrasound photos more than once, and then for a few seconds, because I know you don't know what the hell you're looking at. (And to some extent, neither do I.)
I think we're done with my bitchy little etiquette lesson today. At least, until I start showing and therefore send off warnings that if you touch my belly without an invitation to do so, expect to lose that hand. I don't run around poking you in the abdomen, do I? (Of course, I'll also have to post the name of the first person to commit this offense. I'm getting thicker around the midsection every day, folks, it's only a matter of time....)
posted by Maranie @ 12:31 PM
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