So today’s my 28th birthday – yay! And so far, so good.

I’ve gotten cards and checks from friends and family, near and far. Jason got me some movies on DVD (This is Spinal Tap, The Sandlot, and Raising Arizona – whoo-hoo!), a beautiful pair of gold and pearl earrings, and dance lessons for the two of us at Fred Astaire studios.

Here at work, I got more cards, candy bars, a dozen red roses and a little stuffed angel bear with an October birthstone on it. Plus one of my co-workers paid for my lunch when we went out to one of my favorite local restaurants.

Tonight Debbie, our daytime babysitter, will be watching Veronica while we go out for dinner and who knows what. It’s been a wonderful day.

All except for one thing. And it’s something very big.

Zane, Veronica’s cousin who is only four days older than her, is ill. He has lost two pounds in the past two weeks – not much for me or you, but that’s a lot for a six-month-old. And I get the feeling that although that’s the most serious symptom, it’s not the entire problem. So his parents, Jason’s sister Anne and her husband Ben, brought Zane to Children’s Hospital today to see what’s wrong.

They ended up admitting him, saying they needed to run some tests. Maybe they’re just covering all bases. Maybe this is what they always do with children this young, or under these circumstances. I don’t know, and neither does Jason, and neither does Anne or Ben.

So although I’m happy to see my roses on my desk, or my earrings in the mirror, I can’t help but look at the pictures of Veronica on top of my computer monitor and feel sad. I feel bad because I don’t like to think of any child, much less one who looks a good deal like Veronica, hurting so much. I don’t like to think of myself in Anne’s shoes. And part of me has the guilt of having the healthy, happy baby – and being so thankful that I do.