OK, I can't believe I forgot this:

You like to think your kid is special, that she's way different than others her age. But some things are a constant:

1. Irrational fears;
2. Lack of inborn empathy; and
3. Amusment at bodily functions.

And I can sum up all three of these observations in one story.

Last night Veronica was too afraid to go to bed, claiming monsters would get her. The monsters live in the closet, under things, in the shadows - she's never specific, they're just going to "get" her, or her toys (which she actually seems more concerned about.) So she wanted our cat, Janus, to be shut in there with her, as Jason once pointed out that he has claws and pointy teeth and would never let a monster "get" her.

Jason pointed out that Janus couldn't stay in the room with her all night. "He'd poop on the floor," Jason said, "because he couldn't get to his potty. It would make him unhappy. He'd cry." And let's face it, a cat that can't get to its litter box WILL let out something resembling a cry, and would be pretty damn unhappy about the whole situation.

Right after Jason tells her this, she calls for me and I open her bedroom door. And who should run in but Janus. To which Veronica sits up in bed and gleefully exclaims:

"Dere Jan-uss! He gonna cry! Here come da poopy! He gonna poopie now!"

Good lord.

Fortunately, it all turned out OK, as we assured her that Janus was patrolling the room and left on his own accord moments later because it was safe (and not for the more accurate reason of, nothing for him to eat or destroy in there.) Just saying, my kid's just like a lot of other kids in these accounts.

(sigh).