One thing I didn't expect about motherhood: The loneliness. I feel like I have nothing in common with anyone anymore.

I know this sounds abrupt, but that's part of the problem: My being pressed for time constantly. I had no idea how much spare time I had before having a child. And Veronica's very well-behaved - relatively low-maintenance as far as kids go. I can't imagine if she weren't. This blog problably wouldn't have been updated since April.

That being said, even so, I don't feel like I can connect anymore. Almost all my friends are single, most not in serious relationships. I only have a few married friends, and a handful of homeowner friends, but I'm the only mother. I suppose someone has to be the first in a peer group to have kids, but dammit, I'm hoping someone else will follow suit sometime soon just so I'll have some company. Selfish, but true.

I know that I'm not the only mother in the world, but somehow I'd always thought that I'd have some kind of Insta-Bond with all other moms. And yes, I do have more to talk about with mothers than when I was childless. But the conversation only goes so far about kids - "My kid makes a mess when she eats." "Oh, mine does too." "Veronica weighed 9 lbs. 6 oz. at birth." "Really? My little one was 6 lbs. 14 oz. but he was two weeks early." And that's about when it stalls. It's not like the bond of motherhood makes up for the fact that you have nothing else in common with this person.

It's frustrating as hell, when your girlfriends have a New Year's Eve party and you stay home to watch the kid and nurse your cold. It's maddening when people keep asking if you've seen the new Lord of the Rings movie, and you haven't been able to waylay a babysitter to do so yet. And it drives me nuts that even when I get to talk to a friend, the conversation always goes to Veronica - and usually, nothing else. But how can it go to something else, when she and work are all I do anymore? The friend has no way of responding to my experience, I'm far-removed from hers, and the conversation ends. And so the vicious cycle continues.

I know having a child changes everything, cuts into your free time and such. That's a given, and Veronica is worth it, don't get me wrong. But I'd always had this picture in my head of being Maranie with a child, not being Veronica's mommy who used to have a first name, used to have her own life and personality. I always used to wonder why my parents never seemed to have friends outside their own family, and the reason why is becoming so frightfully clear to me now.

So to my friends who haven't heard from me for a while: I miss you. Write me - get that ball rolling, and hopefully I'll get out of this rut long enough to roll it back.