So my friend Sara is contemplating having a baby sometime soon. And naturally, being that I've done so recently, I'm dying to start laying on the advice and such.

My problem is, should I?

It's like this:

First off, the negative things about being pregnant and having a baby. Oh, there's tons of them. But when I was very gung-ho to have a kid, I didn't want to hear any of those things. I always thought the moms who passed along the gloom n' doom stories were assholes, just trying to scare me or one-up me with the good ole' "Oh, YOU'LL SEE". I never really appreciated my mom bitching about being a mom because, damn, that was a good way to give me a complex. I mean, not like I don't have enough already. :-P

Secondly, though, are the positive things about pregnancy and having a baby. There's tons of those too, otherwise people just wouldn't do it at all! But the most touching moments cannot be described, only experienced, like the first time Jason touched my abdomen and felt Veronica move, or watching her in the ultrasounds. Words can't describe it. But if I get too blissed-out, then I sound like my Lamaze instructor or, worse yet, like all the mothers who didn't understand things that happened in my pregnancy because it didn't happen in theirs. (Like the people at work who couldn't understand that I was getting exhausted after putting on so much fluid that I couldn't tie my shoes anymore, my feet were so swollen. Or the women who kept bragging about how THEY never had morning sickness, or how THEY could work three jobs when they were pregnant. Yeah, yeah, here's a medal, now go away.)

Thirdly, what sort of advice could I give when I couldn't even do two of the most important things in the pregnancy/childbirth process: Labor, and breastfeeding. I can't say what it's like to go into labor, because I never did. (I still feel robbed of that experience - every other woman, even pampered celebrities and even more pampered royals, has gone through that and knew what she was capable of. All except for me, who seemed to prove my mom's advice - throughout the course of my life - that I should ask the doctor for a scheduled C-section because I could never handle the pain.) And the only other woman I know who doesn't breastfeed, physically can't because too many of her milk ducts were taken during a breast reduction surgery several years ago. Even Jason gets upset with me, saying that I gave up the breastfeeding too easily and encouraging me to continue pumping, even though I get less than an ounce a day now. I'm a complete failure at both of these, and don't know how to encourage anyone in them. (If I sound bitter, it's because honestly, I am. And maybe a better woman wouldn't let this get to her, but I do. That's just me. I'm good on dwelling on the negative. Probably why I'm such an upbeat person *sarcasm*).

But finally, despite all my neurotic second-guessing listed above, I'm going to let her know what I went through, because dammit, there was so much that no one told ME - good or bad. And there's so much more to it than labor and breastfeeding too. There's a LOT more to it. And then again, maybe she won't want to know every single thing that happened to me; I know that while I didn't want to feel alone in some experiences, I really didn't have much of an interest in other people's pregnancies when I was pregnant. It's the feeling, really, of how special this is to ME, and therefore what anyone else when through was kind of irrelevant. No matter what, though, I'll be here for her - which I don't mind mentioning because I know she'll read this later - and hopefully that's what's important.